Birch and Hamo's Handbook for SCHOOLIES 2009

well first off.. getting parra on the plane is essential and crucial to any schoolies tour. Inspection of the joint your crashing at is a must but the hot chick radar must be on.. be prepared to flirt and be the first one to christen the bed. Being a sly dog is not considered playing dirty on a Gold Coast Schoolies tour.. you just have to take what you can get. A set of scales could come in handy at the front door of your venue due to weight restrictions if you are above ground level, you dont want any porkers falling through the floor. Condoms should be worn at all times unless you are rooting a chick way out of your league and want to see her again.

remember no girlfriends allowed on tour and no relationships can be formed, no matter if she is bingle-esk! macking a chick after puking is considered as good form and should be well respected by your fellow peers. On a serious note.. always let your mates know where your going and always carry your phone with you.



Not drinking at all times is unacceptable and serious penalties should apply such as; shaven head, cross dressing for a day, shaft licking and spooning with sticks!! passing out during sex is considered funny and not embarrassing!!
always remember... have fun and get fat!!!

peace birch & hamo xx

BLOOD + SWEAT + CUM

look guys, now i know we have been a bit slack lately at the birch and hamo show but thats all about to change as of now!! a re-vamped and new found attitude will strike the B&H show for the rest of its existence.. we have been on sturdy break and over the past month and a bit a lot of news has hit the airwaves but don't worry because we at the BIRCH and HAMO plan to deliever!
we have some hot goss on Jamie "STICKS" Anderson, Stevie Geeeeeee, Jimmy P & Jess Deeeeee ;) plus many more!!

we noticed a trend lately.. everyone has been getting a girlfriend. Including our very own Hamish Moore, he is happily engaged to the wonderful Clare. Which girl has Jamie Anderson's heart??? he claims several women are after him and want him in the sack!! the serial text sexer has been livid that his internet is not up and running at his temporary house.. he has been thrown in the looney bin for a while to settle down. On another note it was Mitchell Streiffs one year anniversary with his beloved wife Megan.. we wish them all the best and many happy years to come.

do we all remember reknowned teachers pet and Stuey Clark suck up Andrew "i'm sick" Le Page?? one time clad man, full time suck up left the Cricket Vic program and no has rejoined the formidable army. Let's just say it has been a plugga lockett retirement story; he will never be as good as he used to be...

on a high note the birch and hamo show have decided to film there GOLD COAST SCHOOLIES adventure this year.. so stay tuned for an episode filled with blood, sweat and cum!! staying in the veluptious paradise towers, titties should be out and drinking faces should be worn!! drinking 24/7 is compulsory, being a bitch/cat is not an option and sex with fat chicks deserves serious punishment!! birch and hamo will be taking you in depth of what it's like for schoolies on the gold coast!! access all areas with B&H!!!!!!!!!!

also...birch and hamo photoshoot coming up very soon, stay tuned!!
peace.. birchyyy xx